By the Day of the Dead altar: the conversation your family needs to have (with a checklist)

Every year, when we build the altar at home, something beautiful happens. Out come the photos of the ones we lost, the pan de muerto, the marigolds, the salt and the little glass of water, and suddenly everyone starts telling stories. How grandma made the best mole on the block. How that one uncle never let anybody pay for his coffee. It's one of the few nights when a family talks about death without fear, almost with tenderness. I'm Mario Barrera, a licensed insurance agent, and for 15 years I've been talking with Hispanic families about the subjects nobody wants to bring up. So I say this with respect: that night by the altar is the best time to have the other conversation, the one that starts with “what if it's my turn tomorrow?”

Why the altar is the perfect place for this talk

Day of the Dead already did the hard part. It reminds us that death is part of life and that we keep loving our people even after they're gone. In that setting, asking your mom what she'd like the family to do when her time comes doesn't sound like bad luck. It sounds like love. What is truly hard, and I've seen it up close, is a family having to decide everything in a couple of days, heartbroken and with no idea how much money there is. That's when the fundraisers, the loans and the maxed out credit cards show up.

Asking what you'd like us to do when your time comes doesn't sound like bad luck. It sounds like love.

What saying goodbye really costs

I don't want to scare you, but I do want this conversation to run on real numbers instead of guesses. In Texas, the average cost of a funeral is around $9,200, according to the NFDA (the National Funeral Directors Association). In the quotes I've reviewed alongside families, the range goes from $4,000 to $18,000, depending on the choices each family makes.

And here's the part that weighs on me most. It's estimated that about 60% of Hispanic families in Texas have no life insurance. Put another way: in many of the homes setting up an altar this year, there's still no plan to cover that expense when the day comes.

A checklist for the conversation by the altar

It doesn't need to be a formal meeting with pen and paper from the start. It can happen over coffee, while you arrange the candles or finish placing the photos. These are the questions I'd bring to the table:

• Burial or cremation? Is there a church, a cemetery or a place that matters to you?
• Do you want to rest here, close to your children and grandchildren, or back in your homeland? Better to know today than to guess later.
• Do you have life insurance or final expense insurance? Where are the papers, and who is listed as the beneficiary?
• If one day you can't decide for yourself, who makes the decisions for you? Say it out loud, in front of everyone, so there are no fights later.
• Is there a mortgage, debt or someone who depends on your income? That changes the kind of protection your family needs.
• Does everyone in the house have health insurance? An illness without coverage can also leave the family in debt.
• Write the answers on a sheet of paper and keep it with your important documents, not just in one person's memory.

What to do if you find out nothing is covered

If the night ends and it turns out nobody has anything in place, that's okay. That's exactly what the conversation was for. Final expense insurance is designed for this situation: it starts at $30 a month, requires no medical exam, is available from ages 30 to 85 and accepts common conditions like diabetes or high blood pressure. Approval usually takes about 48 hours, and the money goes straight to the person you name as your beneficiary. If what keeps you up at night is bigger, like the mortgage, your debts or your kids losing your income, then it makes sense to talk about life insurance, with coverage starting at $50,000.

There's also a coincidence I really like. Open enrollment for Obamacare health insurance starts on November 1, when many homes already have the altar up, and runs through January 15. Many Hispanic families can pay $0 or close to $0 a month if they qualify based on income and household size, and by law no plan can turn you down or charge you more for a preexisting condition. I walk through it step by step in the Let's Talk About Obamacare guide on this site, and my help costs your family nothing.

All final expense and life insurance coverage is subject to approval; price and eligibility vary by age and health. Subsidies and premiums for ACA health plans are determined by the Marketplace based on your income and household size; no amount is guaranteed. Mario Barrera, licensed insurance agent. TX Lic. #3008095, NPN 17440153.

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